idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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