If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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