yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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