She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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