Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
