I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
