Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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