Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
