I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize