Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
