i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sober January is a disaster.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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