hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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