we have officially lost it.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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