is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
