friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
