So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize