I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
