i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
