Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
