He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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