i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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