I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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