I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
