My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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