So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
