I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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