Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
