I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
