Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my sisters under your porch take her home
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
