Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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