There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
