you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
