Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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