I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
