I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
