I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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