that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
