Tell her she can't have a vagina
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
