Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
