That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
