I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so let's talk penis.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
