i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
