Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize