Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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