I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
