I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Duck Duck Cougar?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
