I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
