addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
