After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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