No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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