I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
