i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
