There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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