so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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