i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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