Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
