guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
