sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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