I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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