Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She is in my trunk
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
