i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
