so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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